West Is Best (Part 2)

1.  INT.  THE ANGEL.  NIGHT.

We're back with JOSEPH and LENNY, picking up from West Is Best. LENNY has a fresh pint on the table in front of him. He's looking around, taking everything in.  JOSEPH is returning to the table with a pint from the bar, bringing his saline drip along beside him on its wheels. LENNY really is an arsehole, making him do that.  Not only that.  Their previous conversation - that they no longer really know each other any more - he has absolutely no intention whatsoever of letting drop. 

LENNY

We go back a long way, I'll grant

you that.  But there's a lot in

between that you don't know.

JOSEPH puts his pint down on the table.  He's studiously trying to ignore LENNY, but he just can't stop himself.

JOSEPH

Is that it, then?  Is that all the

thanks I get?  That's charming -

And then at that very moment, just as he's about to sit down, JOSEPH's legs go beneath him. He buckles and goes down fast and hard, just in front of his lifelong friend, who tries to catch him as he goes.  But LENNY's reactions aren't nearly fast enough.  JOSEPH catches his head on the side of the table as he goes, and the saline drip and chair go flying.

2.  INT.  THE ANGEL.  NIGHT.

JOSEPH is on the floor, unconscious, as LENNY kneels beside him. With them is ROXANNE, who works behind the bar, and SAIRA, a nurse, who features in The One About The Binge Drinkers.

3.  INT.  THE ANGEL.  NIGHT.

JOSEPH is half-conscious now, but very white.  Delirious, and in considerable pain.  He sees, but doesn't see.  SAIRA is holding his hand.  

JOSEPH

You've got to hold on to me, Lenny.

I'm keeling over, you've got to hold

on to me.

SAIRA

It's alright, you've had a fall.

JOSEPH

If I go over, I'll not get back up.  You

need to hold on to me, Lenny, you

understand?  If I go, I'll have to take

you with me.  You mark my words.

(An outburst, very angry)  Pull me up,

Lenny, for Christ's sake pull me up!

LENNY looks helplessly at SAIRA.  He doesn't know what to do. 

4.  INT.  THE ANGEL.  NIGHT.

Two PARAMEDICS are strapping JOSEPH on to a stretcher, wrapped in a blanket, a heart monitor beside him.  He has an oxygen mask on his face and is as white as a sheet.

5.  EXT.  THE ANGEL.  NIGHT.

The two PARAMEDICS wheel JOSEPH quickly out of the pub, towards the waiting ambulance. As they do so, they pass an old lady in a faded wedding dress who has been hanging around outside.  This is CRYSTAL. As she realises that it is JOSEPH, her hand goes to her mouth; there is a look of absolute horror on her face. The voodoo curse that she set on the landlord has, she believes, mistakenly and successfully targeted her friend JOSEPH.