Sunday, July 13, 2008

West Is Best (Part 1)

INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  NIGHT.

The Angel.  In a corner we see JOSEPH, who is hooked up to a saline drip, on wheels.  We last saw JOSEPH having a drink in The Angel with CRYSTAL in The One About The Veil.  His health has evidently taken a turn for the worse.  With him is his old friend LENNY, who is in his early 60s and is from Wales.  Elsewhere, we see some people playing darts and, glimpsed in another room, a pool table.

LENNY
What did you bring me here for?

JOSEPH
Why, what's wrong with it?

LENNY
I was just wondering why we came here,
in particular.

JOSEPH
It's my local.  It's where I drink.

LENNY
You don't fancy something different?

JOSEPH
No.  I don't.

LENNY
A change of scenery.

JOSEPH
What are you driving at, Lenny?

LENNY
Well .. (He looks around the pub)

JOSEPH
Go on, spit it out.

LENNY
Given that I've come all this way, I
thought we could go up west.

JOSEPH
I hate it up west.

LENNY
No you don't.

JOSEPH
Yes I do.

LENNY
You used to love it up there.  We'd
have some great times.

JOSEPH
(A flash of anger)  Don't do that, Lenny.
Everyone does that and I fucking hate it.

LENNY
Where I come from, there's nothing to do.
It's enough to drive you up the wall, yeah?
I've travelled a long way to see my old
friend.  I thought I'd not make it in time, if
I'm perfectly honest with you.  But you
came back .. from the brink.  Quite
unexpectedly, I'll have you know.  They'd
given up on you.  They were calling it a day.

JOSEPH
That's what they do.  There's nothing
unexpected in that.

LENNY
They didn't think you had the strength.
They thought you'd given up the ghost.

JOSEPH
It's character.  Character that pulls you
through those situations.

LENNY
And God.

JOSEPH
God has nothing to do with it.

LENNY
I'd be long gone if I didn't have God on
my side.  I mean that, Joseph.

JOSEPH
You're either talking shit like that to get a
reaction.  Or you're not the Lenny I knew.
(He takes a slug of beer)

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The One About The Binge Drinkers


INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  NIGHT.
The Angel.  JACK and his girlfriend SHIRLEY are drinking with their mates VINCENT and his girlfriend SAIRA.  They are in their mid to late 20s and are drinking Stella - except for SAIRA, who has a Coke.  They were all of them out the night before and are deeply hungover, particularly SAIRA.

JACK
Not the ideal day for a visit to the doctor,
considering ..

SHIRLEY
Anyone could have told you that.  If you
ask me, I think you did it on purpose.  You
think it's clever, you think it's funny.

JACK
(Ignoring her) He said if you're going to
drink, it's better to - 

SHIRLEY
He's got to stop this bingeing.

JACK
It's better to drink weak lager and spread
it more thinly.  Were his words.  Rather 
than bulk consumption, building to a
blow-out on Fridays and Saturdays.

VINCENT
(Sarchastic)  What a genius.

JACK
The most important thing is to stay off
the Guinness.

SAIRA can't muster a word. 

VINCENT
Doctor, doctor, I feel at death's door.
Don't worry, I'll pull you through.