The One About The Burial Ground

INT.  LUIGI'S CAFE.  MORNING.

CRYSTAL is talking to LUIGI while CONNOR is finishing his breakfast, reading a newspaper. During this,  HAYLEY comes in. 

CRYSTAL

Do you know how long the church was there?

Over seven hundred years. It's where they put 

the dead during the Black Death.

LUIGI

(Alarmed)  Here?

CRYSTAL

This was a burial ground.  They brought the dead

by boat along the river.

LUIGI

Under the ground is dead people?

ROSALINDA

(Interrupting)  Under the ground is a car park.

CRYSTAL

They got rid of the church.

HAYLEY

(Sitting down opposite CONNOR)  Alright?

CRYSTAL

Where is a girl to get married these days?

CONNOR

(Looking up from his paper)  Yeah.

The One About The Curry Sale

1.  INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  DAY.

Security Officer HAYLEY is walking through the central concourse. She passes several people, all holding placard signs (reading 'Pine Furniture', 'Massive Rug Sale', 'Internet - £1 - For 2 Hours', 'Sim Cards', 'Barbers', 'Mobile Phones - Unlocking', 'Golf Sale', 'Tattoo & Piercing', 'Learn English' and lastly 'Curry Sale' - all with arrows underneath the words), all pointing in different directions.   These are the Sign People, and some of them hand out cards to the shoppers who pass by.  The man holding the sign saying 'Internet - £1 - For 2 Hours,' MICKY SHEPHERD, will feature in The One About The Banker.

2.  INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  DAY.

A large queue from one of these sales cuts straight across the concourse - effectively forming a barrier to the thoroughfare of shoppers.  HAYLEY, smiling, is onto it.

HAYLEY

(To the queue of people)  Move to the

side, please.  Move to the side.  (She uses

her baton to chivvy them out of the way).

PERSON IN QUEUE

Oi, we're not cattle you know!

3.  INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  DAY.

The queue of people is now neatly lined up against the side.  HAYLEY, meanwhile, is dishing out a ticket.

HAYLEY

Do you want a penalty notice for £80

payable within two weeks, or an on-the-spot

fine payable now in cash or credit card for £50?

PERSON IN QUEUE

(After thinking about it for a long time,

watched by his mates) Erm ... I think I'll ...

Phone a friend.  Please.

The One About The Greasy Spoon

1.  INT.  SUNNYSIDE SHOPPING CENTRE.  DAY.

Luigi's greasy spoon cafe, morning.  A small Christmas tree and decorations.  A television on in the corner.  LUIGI (50s, balding, sweaty, happy and fat) and his daughter ROSALINDA (20s, drop-dead) behind the counter, working.

CUSTOMERS include CONNOR, the security guard and CRYSTAL, an old lady in her eighties who is wearing a faded wedding dress & veil and Nike running shoes.  She has a cup of tea and toast with jam in front of her, and is talking to LUIGI over the local news on the television - which CONNOR watches with a face like thunder.

TELEVISION

A man has died after being

locked in a public toilet outside

a busy shopping centre.

CRYSTAL

(Oblivious)  I'm getting married this

afternoon.

LUIGI

(Routine, an eye on the television)

Congratulations.  Who is the lucky man?

CRYSTAL

His name's slipped my mind for the time

being.  But I'm sure it'll come back.

LUIGI

I hope it comes back in time for the wedding.

(To ROSALINDA, of CONNOR) Your fancy-man

 needs to you.

TELEVISION

The mystery death follows the killing

of Robert Forsyth (we see a family

photograph of  MAN MOUNTAIN

BOB) in the same shopping centre

earlier this year.

2.  INT.  LUIGI'S CAFE. DAY.

ROSALINDA is at CONNOR'S table.

ROSALINDA

.. White toast and tea.  Anything else?

CONNOR

(Very abrupt, his eyes on the television)

That's it.

TELEVISION

.. David Ash (over a sequence of CCTV stills)

the man who was identified as the

Longbow Killer from CCTV footage

of the incident at Sunnyside Shopping

Centre, was never caught by police.

3.  INT.  LUIGI'S CAFE.  DAY.

CRYSTAL is in full flow.

CRYSTAL

No one cares anymore, nobody has any sense

of responsibility or morality.  People are so

weak, it's pathetic.  The young are so molly

coddled, they don't know they're born most 

of the time.  It's such little things now that

people are concerned with, such superficial

things.  Little things please little minds, that's

what I say.  When I was a young girl, people

had meaning and a reason to live.

  

The One About The Flowers

1.  EXT.  SUNNYSIDE PIAZZA.  EVENING.

The public toilets in Sunnyside Piazza are cordoned off with blue and white 'Police - Keep Out' tape.  CONNOR and HAYLEY, Sunnyside Security, stand nearby alongside A POLICEMAN.  An SO3 POLICE OFFICER in a white paper suit and face mask forensically examines the inside of the Superloo THOMPSON came out of.

2.  EXT.  SUNNYSIDE PIAZZA.  EVENING.

Nearby, against the wall, some flowers have been laid.  Zoom in on a card with a message that reads:

MESSAGE

You were one in a million.  Heaven got 

lucky today.  My misfortune to be left

behind.  It's what I've always dreaded.

M

Pull out to see PEOPLE walking past, oblivious, going home with their shopping, another day done in an endless cycle of repetition.

The One About The Bogeyman

SIMON MILLS (early 40s, plump) and his daughters RUBY (seven) and CHLOE (eleven) are at a table in BBs, which opens onto the central concourse of the shopping centre.  Above them a sign, 'Drinks, Muffins and Ice Cream.'  It's the morning and is fairly busy.  SIMON is drinking a cappuccino, RUBY has an apple juice and a muffin, CHLOE has a Coke and is listening to music on her iPod.  She holds a monkey, CHICO, in her arms.

RUBY

Daddy .. When you saw the witch,

were you scared?

SIMON

What witch?

RUBY

The one that you saw.  The witch 

in the night.

SIMON

It was nothing.

RUBY

Mummy said you woke up in

the night.  Was it the Bogeyman?

SIMON

It was nothing.

A moment.  A woman MIRIAM approaches the CUSTOMERS and starts to preach to them all, clutching a well-thumbed copy of the Bible. The CUSTOMERS try as hard as possible not to look at or acknowledge her.  She is heard just at the beginning of SIMON and RUBY's conversation, and then dips out.

MIRIAM

Everybody has got a time in this life.

For each of you, your time will come ..

to be significant.  To shine like jewels ..

You can become like Kings and Queens ..

RUBY

He came into my bedroom last night.

SIMON

Who did?

RUBY

The wicked witch.  And he cast a spell

on Chico.  I was sleeping, and then I 

woke up.  And Chico was gone.

SIMON

Where was he?

RUBY

He was sitting on the floor.  Wide 

awake.

SIMON

Was he alright?

RUBY

No, he was crying.

SIMON

So what did you do?

RUBY

I got out of bed, I picked him up,

and then I took him back to bed 

with me.

SIMON

Was he okay?

RUBY

He was very frightened.  But he

went back to sleep in the end.

SIMON

That's good.  (He strokes her

cheek, deeply affected)

RUBY

He doesn't talk to me anymore.

He doesn't say anything.  (She

holds Chico tight).

The One About The March Of Time

Outside the main entrance to Sunnyside Shopping Centre - the covered outer piazza.   A Christmas tree and decorations.  See a MAN lurching out of one of the state-of-the-art public conveniences, as the stainless steel revolving door slides open. This is THOMPSON, early 50s, who we saw at the very beginning.  He wears a khaki jacket and belt, and beige cotton trousers.  Unlike before, however, he now has a beard, he is thin, has long hair and is filthy. His clothes are soiled and torn, his hands are black.  PEOPLE are walking past with their shopping, ignoring him.

As we close in on THOMPSON, we see that his face is scratched and bloody.  There is a desperation in his eyes as he looks around.  He squints, shielding his eyes from the light, as if he's been in darkness for days.  Weeks even.  Tears start to stream from his eyes.  He can hardly walk as he lurches towards a PASSER-BY.

THOMPSON

(Inaudible at first, hoarse) Help me.

The PASSER-BY ignores him and walks on.  THOMPSON goes up to another person, an old lady, OLIVE.

THOMPSON

What day is it?

OLIVE

(Surprised at the question) It's Thursday, dear.

THOMPSON

Thursday what?

OLIVE

I'm sorry?

THOMPSON

Thursday the what?

OLIVE

I believe it's ... the thirtieth today.

THOMPSON

Of what?

OLIVE

Of what?

THOMPSON

(Urgent) Of what month?

OLIVE

Oh.  December.  (She looks at him, not

knowing whether that's good or bad)

December, dear.  (She smiles)

THOMPSON

(In total shock)  You're sure?

OLIVE

Oh yes.  (She looks over his shoulder

towards the Christmas tree and

decorations) Quite sure.

THOMPSON follows her gaze, looks at the decorations.  He starts to shake, like he's having some sort of fit.  OLIVE is frightened and watches him helplessly, as he falls to the ground unconscious.